I know it was a rough year for a lot of people. My heart goes out to everyone who was/is suffering. *BIG ROBOT HUGS*
My year was...better than expected. Honestly, when I started meds for depression and anxiety in March, I wasn't sure how that would affect everything else. Turns out, it really helps when you can function and are not constantly unable to do anything.
(A big shout out to my friends and my mom who helped me get help and supported me the whole time. <3 I'm doing so much better, it's a little overwhelming. I've been happy. It's so strange to feel something other than the mire of depression. Which is not to say it's cured or ever going away; but it's been trimmed back to manageable levels for the most part and I'm so grateful.)
Despite the roughness that was this year for many, myself quite often, I feel the need to highlight the positive things that occurred.
Lots of change happened in 2015. Year-end-summaries are always weird for me. Doubtroaches try to make me think I did ABSOLUTE NOTHING all year...which is bullshit, obviously. So! I made lists, because I love lists, and lists prove that I did do stuff. Quite a lot, actually. WITNESS ME.SHORT FICTION WRITTEN
"Batteries For Your Doombot5000 Are Not Included"
"An Aria in Iron"
"For Now, Sideways"
"Once I, Rose" [sold -- Daily Science Fiction
"The Smallest Darkness"
"The Gentleman of Duskfall"
"The Sweetness of Honey and Rot"
"Later, Let's Tear Up the Inner Sanctum" (novelette)
"Nameless Pilot, Ascending Dawn"
"The Anrdroid's Prehistoric Menagerie" [sold -- Mothership Zeta
, issue #2, 2016]
"The Darkness We All Become"
"With the Burning of the Night"
"Adrift Beyond the Rising Sun" (novelette)LONGER FICTION
I BEGAN A FUCKING SPACE OPERA NOVEL, YOU GUYS. (It takes place in the same universe as "Tomorrow When We See the Sun" and it's going to be pretty epic.) My goal is finish it by the end of March.
I also (almost) finished a novella of some 25k. It is terrible and full of holes and may need to be twice the length in revisions (and then cut back down to proper novella size, maybe) but whatever. It's the longest piece of fiction I've managed to stick with for a while, and what the hell, I enjoyed it.PUBLISHED WORK:Here is a list of published stories in 201 (awards eligible and generally readable and whatnot). :)STORIES FORTHCOMING IN 2016
"Once I, Rose" — Daily Science Fiction (2016)
"...Or Be Forever Fallen" — InterGalactic Medicine Show (January 2016)
"This Is Not a Wardrobe Door" — Fireside (January 2016)
"The Android's Prehistoric Menagerie" — Mothership Zeta (January 2016)SHORT FILMS I MADE/WORKED ON
"In Sink" (director/DP) [not posted yet]
"Side Effects May Include" (DP) [not posted yet]
"What Monsters" (writer/director/DP/editor)
"Killer Death Bunnies From Outer Space" (writer/director/DP/editor) [not posted yet]
-"The House of Doctor Morbo" (several quasi-doc and interview projects stitched into a Night Gallery-esque format) [not posted yet]
"Puddles" [animation] (written/illustrated/animated)
"The Bedtime Book" [animation] (written/illustrated/animated)
"The Fence: Ep. 12: Jerry Means" (DP/director/editor)
"The Clown's Lament" (director/DP)
"Mirrored Hours" (co-writer/director/DP)
"Unknown Underground" (director/DP/editor)
"Costume Magic" (director/editor/DP)
Filmmaker reel/demo reel
WHAT MONSTERS HIDE BENEATH (writer/director/producer/DP/co-editor)
(There's a few other projects I helped on, but they are not listed here for various reasons.)You can see anything publicly posted here on my Vimeo page. WHAT DID MERC LEARN THIS YEAR?
Grabbed from a wonderful thread on Codex, these are some thoughts on what I learned about my writing and process.
I feel like I should be able to remember ALL THE THINGS, because I feel like I did a bunch of leveling up (well, you know, in the rare times I didn't feel like I was abjectly failing everything because brains are dumb XD).
One thing I learned (and re-learned, and have to keep re-learning) is that I enjoy writing, and it can be fun. It's better when it's fun, even! Which does not mean it can't be hard, or infuriating, or there are days I don't like it. That happens. What I learned (re-learned, will re-learn) is that I need to enjoy SOMETHING about it if I keep doing it. And finding the things I love and working them into the story is a good way to make me like it and have fun.
When I enjoy the things I create, I think they become better. (I've gone through streaks of trying to write to a certain style or thematic elements or...whatever else, and usually I hate it, but then doubtroaches sneak up and I forget why I didn't like doing the thing I didn't like and try to make myself do it again and BLEH.) So, yeah: having fun. Allowing myself to be passionate and insert the things I love into the stories I want to write.
Going forward? I'm making myself a little sign to put by my computer that will have some kind of reminder about the FUN, and the passion. (Not sure exactly what it'll say, because I just decided to make the sign! BUT IT WILL BE AWESOME, guys.)
Enjoying my writing means, for me, it'll be better and I'm far more likely to get the emotional range and nuance I'm aiming for if I like what it's about. ^_^
Other things I learned:
- processing/thinking time is necessary to my writing, and is not 'a waste'. It's an integral part.
- naps are awesome and I refuse to feel bad about taking naps when I need 'em.
- [another one for the 'must constantly relearn' pile] brains need recharging and refueling. And whatever method works is JUST FINE. (reading, gaming, movies, walks, etc) There isn't 'one true way' to recharge the system to be able to create.
Here's to another year! Happy 2016, everyone!