Robot Dinosaurs on a Train

excitement!

Wed, 15 May 2013 21:16:59 GMT

Whee! I've just sold my short story, "Winter Bride," to Kaleidotrope for publication sometime in 2014. This is the second-person dark faerie tale about breaking out of Winter. (Nice timing, since we FINALLY just got spring weather. ;))

Many huge thanks to ada_hoffmann and spartezda for being fabulous betas and support team for this one. I'm excited to share it with you all next year!

Movies watched: April 2013

Tue, 07 May 2013 01:02:29 GMT

A couple of awesome things this month; I may be trying too hard to watch ALL THE THINGS when we also had mid-terms and whatnot going on at school.

Film: G.I. JOE: RETALIATION (2013)
Notes: This was great. And by great I mean it was awesomely terrible and I loved it. :D Also I believe #3 should be “Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow: Buddy cop movie.” One of my unashamed favorites in theaters this year, so far. I'd totally watch it again. (My sister was not so enthralled. ;) STILL people doubt my appreciation and love of bad movies. I don't understand, people! WHY DO YOU DOUBT ME??)

Film: THE HUNGER GAMES (2012)
Notes: if it’d been 40 minutes shorter and laid off the shakycam, I might have liked it. Maybe. It was just so…dull. While I’d read the book first, I’m not sure how easy the storyline would be to follow unless you knew it before hand. Which didn’t help. I was mostly bored.

Film: V/H/S (2012)
Notes: a collection of short horror movies based around a set-up of thieves trying to steal a specific VHS movie from a dead guy, and getting killed off one by one. A couple of the segments were okay--I almost liked the one in the woods, with the killer being unfilmable, and the last one with the haunted house had some delightfully disturbing visuals. The webcam one (I don’t remember any titles for these) was the best-done, imo. The overall problem was that all of them took way too long to get going, so the first half of every segment (maybe minus the webcam one) dragged and then it was a rush to finish. That, and the misogyny in spades.

Film: G.I. JOE: RISE OF COBRA (2009)
Notes: A case where the sequel (see above) was far better than the original. This had a lot of cheesy fun moments but on the whole I didn’t like it nearly as much as RETALIATION.

Film: COMPLIANCE (2012)
Notes: Utterly disturbing and horrific psychological thriller. (I can’t tell if the setting triggered me more due to years of hell working in food service, but oh man, I recognize so much of what went on.)

Film: THE PERFECT HOST (2010)
Notes: This was HILARIOUS. Twisted and WTF and so funny. :D This is definitely what I like when it comes to black comedy about serial killers.

Film: UNKNOWN (2006)
Notes: a pretty meh overall amnesia film that had quite a few actors from BLUE BLOODS and…I don’t remember all that much else about it. (Ha! But no, that’s mostly because I was largely bored after the first half hour.)

Film: CONTROL (2004)
Notes: (I had to look this up to remember what it was.) Another so-so movie, this time about placebo drugs and behavioral changes. I didn’t buy it, and while it was trying (it was trying so hard!) it just couldn’t rise beyond obvious plot twists and predictable endings. Although Michelle Rodriguez is always awesome.

Film: OBLIVION (2013)
Notes: Visually, this was gorgeous. You could definitely see the various SFnal influences and homages going on. I wanted to like it but it was too long and too much of Tom Cruise, who I find flat and unwatchable at the best of times. (And by the way, MOON did the premise a lot more interestingly.) It also had a sad lack of Morgan Freeman. Stop cheating us on the Freeman screentime, movie!

Film: FIGHT CLUB (1999)
Notes: Technically and directorially, that was amazingly done. (Not a surprise there.) I’m not overly onboard with the themes or message, but damn, on a mechanical and artistic scale, that was awesome.

Film: THE GOOD THE BAD THE WEIRD (2010)
Notes: I loved this movie so much! :D It basically hits all the things I want in a western, ever. (Trains! Gun fights! Chase scenes! Extravagant sets! Gorgeous cinematography! Coats! Hats! Blowing shit up!) Plus: Lee Byung-hun. It got a little long in the middle, but oh damn, some of that stunt riding and action sequences just had me in fits of glee. (I especially approve of the Ghost Market scene in which Jung Woo-sung is swinging around from a crane, shooting people with a shotgun. That, and Lee’s knifefighting sequences. Okay, and yes, I did love the deep-sea diving helmet bit too.) Yeah. Barring a few quibbles (there were no awesome ladies and the bit in the opium den struck me as unnecessary) this was my favorite thing I watched this month.

I'm also nearly done with HEMLOCK GROVE, which may require a post of it's own (verdict: YOU MAKE MERC GO SMASH, SHOW. Not in a good way. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry).

Spartacus

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 01:34:48 GMT

I finished watching the season finale for the Starz show SPARTACUS: WAR OF THE DAMNED.

*salutes the cast and crew*

It was epic. I am a very, very happy Merc (despite still sniffling because that ending. Wow.)

I don't have time or energy to do a lengthy post, but I just had to share this.

Agron and Nasir LIVE.

(I pretty much re-broke-down out of sheer joy. That, and flailed about at everyone within range of voice and keyboard.)

They lived. Awesome gay warrior dudes who are main characters in an ensemble show and in a relationship with each other and they LIVED.

This is the show based on a history in which basically everyone dies in the end. So that's what I'd depressingly expected.

And the show broke my expectations in the best way.

Because I had hoped, hoped so badly that because some of the rebels do escape in the end, maybe Nasir and Agron would be among them, somehow.

I never expected that to actually happen. I am so fucking happy I can't even find the right words.

Except:

Thank you, Mr. DeKnight.

Movies watched: Feb/March 2013

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 15:55:31 GMT

It was a lean two months. I didn't watch nearly as much as I wanted, which made me a sad bug, but I did discover a few awesome things. (I think once May hits, I'll be seeing a LOT more in theaters, because 80% of everything I want to see this year is out in late April and onward. ;))

Film: I LOVE YOU PHILIP MORRIS (2009)
Notes: I wanted to like this more than I did, since it was definitely funny, but the ending bothered me. As did Ewan McGregor’s accent.

Film: THE SCORPION KING 3 (2012)
Notes: so bad even I had trouble enjoying it for the badness. o.O

Film: BULLET TO THE HEAD (2013)
Notes: Exactly what expected. AX FIGHT!

Film: MINORITY REPORT (2002)
Notes: I just have difficulty watching Tom Cruise. Dunno what it is about his face. The movie itself, however, was moderately entertaining. I begin to feel Dick's stories are just more effective in written form, although some of the SFX were cool.

Film: THE INCREDIBLE HULK (2010)
Notes: The ending bothered me so much—wtf happened to Abomination?! Did they seriously just let Hulk wander off and let the rather useless humans deal with him when he wakes up?

Film: TITAN A.E. (2000)
Notes: Gorgeous animation—while predictable storyline, I loved the scenes in the nebula with the angels.

Film: MARTHA MARCY MAY MARLENE (2011)
Notes: Loved the style and claustrophobic atmosphere in this one; it’s showing the aftereffects of a woman who “escapes” a cult, only she’s never really gotten away. The ending is haunting.

Film: CAPITALISM: A LOVE STORY (2009)
Notes: watched for class.

Film: BIG FISH (2003)
Notes: This was an odd movie—although I thought McGregor’s accent was more believable than in I Love You, Philip Morris—and most of the presentation of various characters made me really uncomfortable. I did like the cascading scene at the end, though.

Film: THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION (1994)
Notes: The lighting! I wasn’t paying all that much attention to the story because the lighting kept wooing me with the pretty.

Film: TED (2012)
Notes: painfully insipid, unfunny and boring. I expected the crudeness and offensiveness, but seriously, when you are boring me, I am really not impressed.

Film: BLADE II (2002)
Notes: I had not seen this all the way through, but now I have and I unashamedly love it! So much cheese! Such a cast! Also I want Blade’s coat.

Film: LETHAL WEAPON 2 (1989)
Notes: I have NO idea how I have never seen this franchise before. OMG, this movie cracked me up so much!

Film: SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN (2012)
Notes: I’m seriously disappointed Snow White didn’t call the troll and the stag and random fairies at the end and be all, ‘Yo! Mystical magical creature dudes! Wanna come help me kick the queen’s butt and, you know, make things grow again? SINCE YOU’RE BEING EQUALLY AFFECTED AND I JUST SPENT HALF A MOVIE MAKING NICE WITH YOU?’ The idiocy of that siege could have been much improved by the addition of the troll, who was the best thing ever.

Film: YOUNG GUNS (1988)
Notes: Oh, 80’s movies soundtacks. How I do not miss you.

Film: JURASSIC PARK 3 (2001)
Notes: Another one I think I only saw the first half of, on TV at some point, and now I am immensely offended because I missed all the best scenes with the raptors! I HAVE RECTIFIED THIS. Also: RAPTORS FTW. (I keep being annoyed the whole movie is not about the life and times of the genetically engineered supersmart velociraptors who are going to TAKE OVER THE WORLD.)

Film: UNFORGIVEN (1992)
Notes: Really liked this, despite some problems going on. Gorgeous cinematography and editing.

Film: OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN (2013)
Notes: Basically, Die Hard in the White House—it did exactly what it promised on the tin, and did it fairly decently, too. Enjoyed it.

things I can blame on environmental science class...

Sun, 24 Mar 2013 17:38:05 GMT

Acetaminophen kills snakes* (see this very technical article [PDF] about reptile fatality when dosed with acetaminophen) and so now when I need Tylenol, I am leery because WHAT IF I TAKE TYLENOL AND THEN TURN INTO A SNAKE AND DIE.

It may be irrational, but dammit, now my dreams of turning into a snake are COMPLICATED.

---
*brought to you by my final presentation being about the mouse-drop in Guam.

Spring is a lie. There is only, ever, Winter.

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 18:05:50 GMT

We got more snow. So much snow. And blizzardy winds today. And undrivable roads! Always fun.

Until your car spins out, crashes into a snowbank, and karate chops a STOP sign.

>.<

Yeah, that was my morning.

I'm fine, the car just has a massive dent in one door now, and the roads are still a mess. (The tow-truck guy and the lady at the PD were all very nice.)

We can be done with the snow ANY TIME NOW. Seriously, Minnesota. All you're doing is making a good case to move to Florida.

things I blame The X-Files for (a partial list)

Mon, 04 Mar 2013 01:46:50 GMT

I like THE X-FILES, I do. (I have problems with a lot of it, but that's another post. I did enjoy most of the episodes on first run and reruns.) I was not the biggest fan of Mulder and Scully, to be honest. My draw to the show* was the weird and creepy cases that showed up each week. Speaking of which, I can consistently blame this show for many things. To start with:

Fast food drive-thrus, especially after dark. Because you never know when there are cannibals on the other end. (See: “Hungry” 7.3)

Clocks. Because of “Rush” (7.5). (That ending shot, of the clock going backwards? Yeah. Also the part where the dude is smashed into the wall with a chair. You would never have gotten me into a cafeteria after that for a long time.)

Farms. Really, did we need to go there in “Home” (4.2)?

Circuses. I think there were several episodes. Not that circuses need help in way of the "let's make this super creepy!" but, well, NOT HELPING, show.

Driving west. Because if you don’t go fast enough, your inner ear canal will explode and kill you. (See: “Drive” 6.2)

Red wagons. (See: “Badlaa” 8.10.)

Killer shadows. (See: “Soft Light” 2.23) Although I don't think this is where my fascination with shadows comes from, it definitely makes you suspect everything of being a radioactive black hole.

Bugs. Take your pick.

Escalators. Because of “Squeeze” (1.3) -- I cringe a little every time I'm forced to take the escalators vs the stairs...

There is so much more. But I would need a longer list.

---

Anything that can't be blamed on the X-Files (and face it, pretty much everything can) can be blamed on Criminal Minds, which is basically, "YOU ARE NEVER SAFE NO MATTER WHAT AND THERE IS A SERIAL KILLER RIGHT BEHIND YOU."

---

You're welcome.

---

*Yes, young!Merc watched many things growing up. Twilight Zone, Star Trek, The X-Files, Stargate: SG1, Transformers, way too many cartoons, Outer Limits, Babylon 5, Power Rangers, Doctor Who... my list is long and mighty. XD

I'm not sure which of the SF shows gets the most blame for paranoia about time-loops, however...

Byron, 2007-2013

Thu, 21 Feb 2013 00:28:53 GMT

I lost my ferret Byron this evening.

I held him and we cuddled. He slept in my sweatshirt sleeve all afternoon. He did not seem to be in any pain, at least. He died in my arms, curled up next to my heart.

RIP, Byron.

(2007-2013)

Movies watched, January edition (2013)

Sun, 03 Feb 2013 00:00:14 GMT

I'm just keeping track this year of what I watch.

Credit info from IMDb.

Film: TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY (1991)
Director: James Cameron
Writer(s): James Cameron, William Wisher
Director of Photography: Adam Greenberg
Film Editor(s): Conrad Buff, Dody Dorn, Mark Goldblatt, Richard A. Harris
Notes: fantastic; no, I don't know why I've not seen the whole thing all the way through until now, either.

Film: KILL BILL VOL. 2 (2004)
Director: Quentin Tarantino
Writer(s): Quentin Tarantino
Director of Photography: Robert Richardson
Film Editor(s): Sally Menke
Notes: enjoyed it; still had problems (along with the first one) but overall solid.

Film: THE EVIL DEAD (1983)
Director: Sam Rami
Writer(s): Sam Rami
Director of Photography: Tim Philo
Film Editor(s): Enda Ruth Paul
Notes: another one I had not watched all the way through; I did watch the musical when it was in Minneapolis a couple years ago, and I'm fond of ARMY OF DARKNESS. ;)

Film: I’M A CYBORG, BUT THAT’S OK (Ssa-i-bo-geu-ji-man-gwen-chan-a) (2006)
Director: Chan-Wook Park
Writer(s): Seo-Gyeong Jeong, Chan-Wook Park
Director of Photography: Chung-hoon Chung
Film Editor(s): Jae-beom Kim, Sang-beom Kim
Notes: I'm still chewing over this one, but overall, really really liked it.

Film: GANGSTER SQUAD (2013)
Director: Ruben Fleischer
Writer(s): Will Beall, Paul Lieberman (book)
Director of Photography: Dion Beebe
Film Editor(s): Alan Baumgarten, James Herbert
Notes: pretty middling; a few enjoyable moments, but nothing stand-out (you can see how much fun Sean Penn is having, though)

Film: ZERO DARK 30 (2012)
Director: Kathryn Bigelow
Writer(s): Mark Boal
Director of Photography: Greig Fraser
Film Editor(s): William Goldenberg, Dylan Tichenor
Notes: really good; I thought Gemma Files' (handful_ofdust) post summed it up exactly here

Film: FLASH POINT (Dou fo sin) (2007)
Director: Yip Wai Shun
Writer(s): Szeto Kam Yuen, Nicholl Tang
Director of Photography: Cheung Man Po
Film Editor(s):Cheung Ka Fai
Notes: slowish first half, but then we get all the action! (I love the cast in this one.)

Film: NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS (1993)
Director: Henry Selick
Writer(s): Tim Burton (story and characters), Michael McDowell (adaptation), Caroline Thompson (screenplay)
Director of Photography: Pete Kozachick
Film Editor(s): Stan Webb
Notes: such gloriously creepy animation

Film: GODZILLA (Gojira) (1954) [rewatch]
Director: Ishiro Honda
Writer(s): Ishiro Honda, Shigeru Kayama, Takeo Murata
Director of Photography: Masao Tamai
Film Editor(s): Yasunobu Taira
Notes: still probably my favorite Godzilla (although I largely enjoyed the 2009 version)

Film: FOLLOWING (1998)
Director: Christopher Nolan
Writer(s): Christopher Nolan
Director of Photography: Christopher Nolan
Film Editor(s): Gareth Heal, Christopher Nolan
Notes: it was...experimental? I get what it's doing (and Nolan still has no idea what to do with female characters--oh wait, KILL THEM) but it was sort of meh for me.

Film: THE COVE (2009) [documentary]
Director: Louie Psihoyos
Writer(s): Mike Monroe
Director of Photography: Brook Aitken
Film Editor(s): Geoffrey Richman
Notes: watched in class

Film: HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS (2013)
Director: Tommy Wirkola
Writer(s): Tommy Wirkola
Director of Photography: Michael Bonvillian
Film Editor(s): Jim Page
Notes: fucking hilarious and way too much fun; oh yes, it was terrible! So terrible it was awesome! As Genevieve Valentine (gvalentine) puts it, NO ONE CARES. And that's why we love it.

Film: PRIMER (2004)
Director: Shane Carruth
Writer(s): Shane Carruth
Camera and Electrical Department: Anand Upadhyaya, James Russell, Daniel Bueche
Film Editor(s): Shane Carruth
Notes: I had trouble following exactly what the time-travel was doing; I can't tell if this is a clarity issue or if I was missing something.

So, I definitely didn't watch as many movies as I wanted. I only got halfway through DANTE'S INFERNO before I had to stop because the content was making it plain unfun/uncomfortable to watch (hello, misogyny in SPADES).

----

In television (that is, currently airing), wow, I think the only things I sat through all the way were the premiere of THE FOLLOWING (I could maybe-possibly like it, if only for the secondary characters, but haven't seen the second ep yet) and of course the premiere of SPARTACUS: ARMY OF THE DAMNED (omg, show, ALL THE FEELS).

I'm just waiting for the DVD of THE WALKING DEAD s3.

...yeah, my TV watching list is pretty tiny (the only thing I'm actively keeping up on is Spartacus) and that makes me a sad bug, but between school and trying to sort out lifestuffs, it is not happening right now.

---

on the robot overlords and taking over the world

Sun, 20 Jan 2013 21:36:13 GMT

So, for one of my classes this quarter, we're required to participate in debate or give a speech. As I cannot watch debate without getting stressed out beyond functional capacity (and it makes me want to sic Godzilla on people), I chose speechifying.

About the robot overlords. (The way I phrased it was: "How AI could forward world peace." Because while I think our teacher is incredibly cool, I was not sure how he would take "why robots should take over the world" as a topic just yet. But basically it's about why the robot takeover could be a good thing. I mean, hell. If I'm going to give a 5-10 minute speech and entertain a 5 min Q&A, it's going to be about ROBOTS*.)

So, while I am planning research and speech structure and... stuff, I ask you for opinions!

Why do you think the robots ruling the world would be a good thing? Why would it not?

(Qualifiers: the premise is that the robot overlords would operate largely without wiping out humanity; they would govern/regulate things in a peaceful manner. I would ideally like to get a range of ideas on arguments against the premise--that it could be beneficial--so I can get a feel of what sorts of arguments and issues would be raised in the Q&A.)

Of course, I have not outlined or written anything yet. I have to do some kind of research, but for now, I'm curious what people think of the hypothetical situation.

(Movie/book recommendations are also welcome.)

Thanks in advance, everyone!

----

*For my Public Speaking class last quarter, I totally hosted a press conference whose purpose was to inform the citizenry of the robot takeover and how everyone would now be required to comply with their new overlords. XD It was fabulous.

Rediscovering Cardboard Boxes

Fri, 11 Jan 2013 21:41:31 GMT

Posted this over at the Wordpress blog. When I should be doing schoolwork. *cough*

Rediscovering Cardboard Boxes

It's about Calvin and Hobbes, imagination, being yourself, and overcoming ingrained tendencies to give up things that are important in the name of "growing up." Like playing in cardboard boxes.

[I have ISSUES with LJ's formatting, so am not going to fight reposting here until after there is homework-accomplishing. >.>]

12 for '12: Movies Merc Enjoyed this Year

Tue, 01 Jan 2013 01:05:16 GMT

I didn't see nearly as much as I wanted to this year; although I sort of discount the entire first five months (personal reasons). But from about May onward, I made it to a few movies in theaters, and caught a few more on DVD.

This is not a ‘best of’ list, because I haven’t seen nearly as much as I wanted to, and I generally have no interest in doing best-of-lists. (I will read them, sure.) Plus, ‘best’ implies so many things I don’t have the brain or energy to unpack.

So, this is a list of 2012 movies I enjoyed most in 2012. Predictably, it has 12 entries, and it’s alphabetized.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Is it cheesy? Dude, the title alone tells you that. Somehow people continue not to believe me when I tell them I like campy movies… Fun visual effects (the horse stampede, the train sequence) and I much appreciated many aspects of the lighting. Also it was just ridiculous fun. And hats! Awesome coats and hats win you bonus points every time.

Argo
I went into this knowing minimal about it, other than people thought it was good. It was! Good sense of tension and my favorite parts (of course) involved the whole facade of setting up a movie studio for cover. Also, John Goodman. And storyboards.

The Avengers
I want one of those giant dinosaur-ship things. I WANT ONE BAD. (Also, I want Loki’s coat.)

Brave
BEARS.

Django Unchained
So far my favorite Tarantino movie*. Gorgeous, snappy, and splendid writing. Also, shoot-outs.

The Expendables 2
The only reason these films exist is as an excuse to have a half dozen or more action movie icons show up in the same film and blow shit up. And that’s the reason you go WATCH it. *grin* I think Stallone vs Van Damme wins ‘most-testosterone-laden-fistfight-of-the-year.’

The Hobbit pt 1
I waffled on listing this one; it has problems with pacing and I had a tonal and tension complaints. But you know, having seen it three times, I still enjoyed it. It’s gorgeous. (I want Azog’s warg. I will FIGHT you for it, spartezda.) It made me like the Dwarves, and it was lovely to go back to Middle-earth again. (I also want Thranduil’s elk-moose-thing.)

Looper
Does it have problems? Of course it does. What I liked so much about this was the visual style, the gritty atmosphere, and the fact they didn’t try too hard to explain time-travel. (It never works.) I also think this wins ‘most-horrifying-torture-scene-in-SF-ever’ by showing almost nothing on stage except the aftermath. Which was brilliant.

The Raid: Redemption
[on here because I saw it this year and it will probably be on any of my favoritest movies lists forever] Hands-down the best martial arts action movie I’ve seen since Hero. Amazing cinematography, jaw-dropping choreography, tight pacing, steadily rising conflict, and by the end I was chewing on my knuckles wanting people not to face off because they will DIE and AUGH NO. (Read: I liked the characters.) Yes, it’s basically a 2 hr fight scene. But it is amazing.

Rise of the Guardians
Beautiful on so many levels. The animation is stunning; but what I liked best was how it kept its sense of wonder throughout. Because that’s what it’s about: wonder and belief.

Seven Psychopaths
Oh, THIS MOVIE. Hysterical, so wrong and problematic, and it didn’t quite hit the stretch goal I think it was going for with the meta, but I have not laughed so much since I first saw Galaxy Quest. (Sam Rockwell = BEST THING EVER.) I adored so much of the interaction and the strange side-stories going on. Also, the graveyard scene.

Sinister
Best horror movie I have seen in a while, because it takes full advantage of a visual medium and relies on atmosphere, suspense, and the viewer’s imagination in place of buckets of gore. The plot is familiar, but holy crap, some of the scares are amazing. It’s creepy, dude. I have not been creeped out by a horror movie in ages. (It’s the detail work and subtlety that nail it.)
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Honorable Mentions: Les Miserables, Dredd, Cloud Atlas, The Amazing Spider-Man, The Cabin in the Woods
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Movies I still have yet to see: The Master, Holy Motors, Wreck-It Ralph, Snow White and the Huntsman, The Grey, Dark Shadows, The Hunger Games, Flight, John Carter, Lincoln, Skyfall
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*I’ve not seen Inglorious Basterds yet, which I plan to rectify tonight.

going forward

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 22:13:15 GMT

I don't really go for the whole New Year Resolutions tradition, but there are a few things I aim to do next year. (Which is tomorrow. WHAT IS HAPPENING.)

The first rule of the Writing Goals is you don't talk about the Writing Goals--

No, wait. Wrong movie.

Writing goals are simple: write.

Exercise: I've established an exercise regime and already started it! I have a goal to be in shape so I can run in the zombie 5k Run For Your Lives, in July. It will be EPIC. (I was a zombie this year--last year if you see this post in January--and it was so fun. Several of my aunts are joining us this year, and we will all be in Star Trek red shirt uniforms. YES, there will be pics in July.)

The other doable goal is watch movies. I'm aiming to watch three films which I haven't previously seen each week, as a minimum threshold. Because this is important and relevant and also one of my favorite things to do. (Bonus features include re-watching movies I like to analyze them, and also read scripts.)

2013 looks to be pretty awesome in terms of film releases. (No lies: PACIFIC RIM is the one I'm most looking forward to. ROBOTS VS THE OLD ONES. What's not to love?)

And that's it. I have hopes 2013 will be a better year. (2012 sums up as basically: the first half was horrible, then it started getting better.)

Happy New Year, everyone! May you gain many xp in the coming future.

May you have plenty of ornaments to stash in your dens...

Mon, 24 Dec 2012 22:47:30 GMT

The ferrets and I wish you all a Merry Christmas/happy holidays!

Love,
Byron, Leo, and Merc

The Next Big Thing

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 20:04:27 GMT

Unofficially tagged by stephanieburgis! (Whose novel sounds absolutely FABULOUS.)

I've enjoyed this meme a lot where I've seen it. This has been sitting in my misc drafts folder for some time, and since I am procrastinating, here you go.

What is the title of your book?
The White Sorrow

Where did the idea for the book come from?
Watching ripples on the pond, one day, and imagining what would happen if each ripple was a memory of how someone died (and then what kind of person could ‘read’ those ripples, and solve crimes).

What genre does your book fall under?
Fantasy, with shades of police procedural and noir.

Which actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition?
I picture about 90% of this as CGI, in which case I would love Doug Jones and Andy Serkis to join the cast for motion capture. Voice acting, uh.. Scott McNeil, Marina Sirtis Campbell Lane, Keith David, Venus Terzo, are my top picks initially, though I have no specific characters in mind. (And if Ron Perlman would voice someone, I would be eternally happy.)

What is a one-sentence synopsis of the book?
D’Mane, the only necropath in Winterpier, must stop a mythological horror known as the White Sorrow, which has reappeared after a decade and is now killing everyone close to em.

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?
It’s not even drafted, but I would seek agent representation and traditional publication, eventually.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?
I started it last year, set it on a shelf, and just picked it up again recently-ish. I don’t remember dates. Currently, it sits at the 16k mark; I aim to finish it next year sometime.

What other books would you compare this story to in your genre?
This is the part I’m bad at… so I’ll take recs for any books/movies that involve a nongendered normative that is totally cool with fluid gender and sexual identities [D’Mane, for example, is gender-neutral, though e has been female at one point, and was also male for several years while living with then-his boyfriend], with living buildings and leopard shapeshifters and water-based necromancy and magic, also cyborgs/robots (depending on who you ask) and killer unicorn (singular) and 1950s-esque style cars and jazz music and no vampires. Also, everyone has awesome hats. And coats.

Who or what inspired you to write this book?
This probably has a ton of vaguely connected influences: I love the look of noir film (and chiaroscuro, despite the fact I’m still working on being able to pronounce it, is a favorite word), I watch a lot of procedurals, unreliable first-person narrators are fascinating, I love robots and classic cars, and, you know, awesome coats.

What else about your book might pique the reader's interest?
Masks! Not-really-elder-gods! Awesome coats! Robots!

… there is probably a lot of other shiny stuff; I get distracted by the robots.

Include the link of who tagged you and this explanation for the people you have tagged.
See above. I also hate tagging people, because I generally hated the game of Tag growing up, therefore, I leave it as an open invitation: grab the meme if you want to play (and please feel free to share a link in comments if you do, as I’d love to read it). :)

Scott Myers on Writing Goals

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 01:32:49 GMT

The last fortnight or so, I've had multiple conversations (online and IRL) about purpose, about goals, about what you want to do in life. This has been really good and cultivated a bunch of thoughtses. Most ot the thoughtses are still in that mulch stage where they're not quite ready to be used for the garden, and besides, there is snow on the ground so I don't even know what we could plant this time of year in MN...somewhere along the line that analogy got messed up. I don't even garden.

Anyhow, screenwriter Scott Myers recently had a series of blog posts about writing goals. (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3)

Something that stuck out, in the part about assessing where you are, was a pair of questions.

* What do I want to write?

* What do I need to write?

Read the full post here.

(Did LJ disable the quote feature? Because that would really piss me off if it did.)

For me, at least, these are important.

The WANT is the passion and the enthusiasm and the 4am epiphanies. It's what gets me excited when the plot wargs* show up, or I find little droplets of shiny scattered about. ("I want to share this awesomeness with you guys!")

The NEED is the unobtanium-fuled propulsion system to write certain stories, because there is something in them I need to say. (These are often the hardest stories, the ones that are the scariest to show anyone because on some level, maybe all the levels, they are deeply personal or let the monsters out of the closet.) So even if those stories take ten million wrong drafts to find the right one, the need is what makes me keep trying.

It's not one specific thing. It's legion. There are many things I like and want to write about; there are many things I need to say, and have to find the stories and the words.

What do you want to write? What do you need to write?

So simply articulated like that, I hope I'll be able to remember this more--it helps focus and purpose and passion.

-----

*This is going to be my new phrase. PLOT WARGS. The bunnies and wolverines are nothing in the face of wargs!

Fri, 14 Dec 2012 18:23:49 GMT

I have ten zillion things I want to post about (The Hobbit, costuming, writing, movies, etc) but with the news, I am just out of emotional energy now for anything. Singing offline for the week.

Prayers are with the families involved in the shooting in CT.

blame that 'let it snow' song

Sun, 09 Dec 2012 16:47:21 GMT

Winter is ~~coming~~ here.

Seems to be about four inches and counting...

The trees are admittedly very pretty...

Also, before all the animal tracks scuff it up, open stretches of snow.

Now we just wait for the roads to be plowed.

memeology

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 01:29:27 GMT

Seen on several people's LJs, most recently asakiyume's post, and it is so much fun. (I am backlogged on the all of three memes that I feel like doing, and have not gotten to yet, but whatever.) So! I feel like playing.

Tell me about a story I haven’t written, and I’ll give you one sentence from that story.

WHAT KINGS ATE AND WIZARDS DRANK by Krista D. Ball

Fri, 02 Nov 2012 16:08:03 GMT

It is Book Day! (Well, I'm a day late but whatever.)

The beginning of November starts NaNoWriMo and also the publication of Krista D. Ball's funny, informative, and greatly entertaining reference guide, What Kings Ate and Wizards Drank.

From the book description:

"Equal parts writer’s guide, comedy, and historical cookbook, fantasy author Krista D. Ball takes readers on a journey into the depths of epic fantasy’s obsession with rabbit stew and teaches them how to catch the blasted creatures, how to move armies across enemy territories without anyone starving to death, and what a medieval pantry should look like when your heroine is seducing the hero.

Learn how long to cook a salted cow tongue, how best to serve salt fish, what a “brewis” is (hint: it isn’t beer), how an airship captain would make breakfast, how to preserve just about anything, and why those dairy maids all have ample hips.

What Kings Ate will give writers of historical and fantastical genres the tools to create new conflicts in their stories, as well as add authenticity to their worlds, all the while giving food history lovers a taste of the past with original recipes and historical notes."

The book covers everything from the general history of food, an overview of the politics and logistics of food (and feeding an army), food preservation, what types of food would be available in various time periods and climates, and actual recipes for making some of these historic dishes yourself.

There are plenty of wonderful side bars with little tidbits, facts, recipes, and trivia. Krista has a talent for inserting hilarious anecdotes (such as her collage years without coffee) and fascinating stories about everything involving food.

WHAT KINGS ATE AND WIZARDS DRANK chronicles food and history in a fun, engaging style. And like a good meal, it leaves you full and satisfied at the end. (Although there's always room for dessert!)

---

Krista is a good friend, and this is an absolutely stellar addition to her growing bibliography. I've been so excited for this book since she started writing it, and now it is out! In the wild! And you guys should check it out!

Amazon
Tyche Books

Kindle edition is currently available, and the paperback should be out soon, as well. (I believe other ebook formats will be available at some point, too.)

it'd probably never get past current network censors...

Wed, 10 Oct 2012 15:13:26 GMT

This morning at work, my brain pitched me an idea for a TV show. (I blame this entirely on my script-writing class in school. Which is awesome, by the way.)

It would probably be like a cross of The Prestige , Les Miserables, and Grimm. You could throw in elements from Burn Notice and Spartacus. Set in the late 1800's, involving difficulties with the fae; the male leads are a gay couple (magician and soldier), the female leads are awesome scientist inventors (who fight crime); magic and spying and heists and supernatural investigation and trains and chases and other plot happens.

That's all I got (along with ideas for the first couple sequences and the central conflict for a season arc)--I've no doubt the rest will develop. *grin*

(It remains neglectfully untitled, because titles are the BANE OF MY EXISTENCE.)

So, maybe not network--but that's what cable is for, right?

---

I feel this plot-storming is at least a step in the right direction for getting back on some kind of writing schedule. (I see you, still-untitled-novel-I-am-still-plotting. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT.)

All the Little Animals

Sat, 06 Oct 2012 18:09:34 GMT

As a very young!Merc, I had series nightmares. Not specifically the same nightmare over and over (serial), although sometimes I had repetitious dreams, but a series of nightmares that all had a basic structure and the same boogeyman-type antagonist.

(Well, I had a handful of series nightmares. There was The Tractor, there were a couple of generic serial killers, and there was the Tornado.)

One of these series involved creepy little animals that naturally lived under the bed and had an entire underground civilization. Often there was a horrific mutated Clifford the Big Red Dog involved. The worst part was that 90% of the time, the dream started in that vague sense of knowing it’s a dream, thinking you’ve woken up, and then the nightmare actually unfolds.

For years, the Little Animal dreams messed up my head. They weren’t frequent, but they were always lingering in the back of my brain. I kept trying to defeat them and in not quite managing it.

(While I’d watched The Twilight Zone and a lot of cheesy horror movies as a young!Merc, I’d never seen Night Gallery. But in 2009, we got the series on DVD and I watched the whole thing. The segment that included the mini-episode, “A Feast of Blood,” freaked the hell out of me because that brooch? It was like the designer grabbed images out of my head and put them on TV.)

At some point in my dreams (still as a young!Merc), I hit the equivalent of a boss fight, told the Little Animals to beat it and leave me alone, because I wasn’t scared of them anymore. (There was a strange amount of stabbing them with a mailbox.)

The nightmares stopped.

Fast forward to present!Merc. I’d always wanted to use some of my weird dream imagery in a story. It’s like the ultimate smackdown on the old nightmares. (I will dismantle your bones and create a new creature. MAD SCIENCE, FTW.)

I took the core imagery and wrote a story titled, shockingly enough, "All the Little Animals". It’s about a girl determined to save her little brother from nightmarish animals out to get them. It was a very personal story and also a favorite of my horror pieces. And it paid off.

“All the Little Animals” was accepted for the Spring 2013 issue of The Red Penny Papers, and I could not be happier! I love RPP, and I love this story, and I hope you will give it a look next year. Although probably not before bed.

(As semi-autobiographic as it is, no real Mercs were harmed in the drafting of this story.)

I have not been to LEGO Land in awhile...

Thu, 27 Sep 2012 23:10:58 GMT

...and the other day I was at the Mall of America and saw they had completely remodeled the place. And the new 15- and 30-foot LEGO models? ARE SO FRICKING COOL.

(I'm boggled at the work and design and amount of LEGOS that go into those, man.)

Have some pics.

Minotaur and soldier.

Saber-tooth tiger and hunter.

This dude was adorable.

Knight on horseback. (That horse was seriously cool.)

This is probably Mission Impossible: LEGO Protocol.

And this dude was about twice the size of all the other models, which were already, you know, probably 10-15 feet high. It was MASSIVE. Like what you'd expect a giant LEGO robot to be like.

So yeah. Pretty awesome.

Sort of like a money shot...

spambots must die

Mon, 03 Sep 2012 21:08:53 GMT

Temporarily (or maybe not) turning off annonymous comments due to spam.

Carry on.

The Bourne Legacy

Sun, 12 Aug 2012 14:20:32 GMT

I haven’t seen the first three movies, so I went in with neutral expectations. (For movies I plan to watch, I don’t read any reviews prior to seeing it. I wasn’t even sure what the plot was, going in.)

Jeremy Renner and Louis Ozawa Changchien are always welcome eye candy, how so that was my reason to go see it. O:)

That said.

SPOILERS. OBVIOUSLY.

We start with JEREMY RENNER emerging from a frozen lake in Alaska, approvingly shirtless and dripping wet. Then there is a bunch of scenes of our hero in the wilderness, doing manly survival stuff, climbing rocks, shooting things with his sniper rifle, and being tracked by obligatory Evil Wolves from central casting.

There are then a bunch of incomprehensible talking-head scenes in which COMMITTEE OF CIA PEOPLE talk about how things are falling apart. (This is unwittingly a metaphor for the rest of the movie.) They are watching YouTube clips of something involving vague bad political fallout or something.

Meanwhile, back in Alaska, JEREMY RENNER shoots things and climbs more mountains!

JEREMY RENNER: I have now arrived at a cabin in the middle of nowhere to meet my mysterious contact who is actually another secret drug-powered agent dude like me.

OTHER AGENT DUDE: Hello. I fell in love and was exiled here. Have a gun to shoot wolves with. Also, I will give you more drugs. OR MAYBE NOT.

Meanwhile, back in other parts of the world, we get establishing shots of other drug-powered AGENTS.

COMMITTEE: We are pulling the plug, because of something mumble something.

AGENTS: *all take pills and die of nosebleeds*

In Alaska:

JEREMY RENNER: Hm, it is now snowing and I cannot leave. Also, do you hear a plane?

OTHER AGENT DUDE: Why yes! I have a bad feeling about this.

JEREMY RENNER: So do I! I’ll take the nest, because I’m Hawkeye--er, I mean, Jason Bourne’s replacement. You stay here. *leaves the cabin*

DRONE: *blows up the cabin with OTHER AGENT DUDE inside*

JEREMY RENNER: *shoots the drone with his sniper rifle and makes it explode*

CIA DUDES CONTROLLING THE DRONES REMOTELY: Crap! We have no idea what just happened. Let’s send in another drone.

JEREMY RENNER: *cuts out the tracking pill in his leg and manages not to bleed out during self-inflicted surgery*

ALPHA WOLF: Yo. So, like, me and the pack just finished the shoot of THE GREY, so we kinda picked up this gig. I mean, we totally just brought down an elk a day earlier, but we are still hungry. Or just evil and want to kill you. Anyway. I’m here to menace you because you’re… not fully human anymore, so I guess that means I want to attack you.

JEREMY RENNER: Wait, what?

ALPHA WOLF: Hey, don’t blame me! I just do what’s in the script. *growls menacingly*

JEREMY RENNER: *growls back*

ALPHA WOLF: *attacks!*

JEREMY RENNER: *wrestles ALPHA WOLF in the snow, pries open its jaws, and stuffs the tracker pill down its throat*

Then they both start running through the woods. (No one is really sure why.)

DRONE #2: oh hey! I can has target!

The drone then fires and blows up the wolf with a missile.

MERC: …WTF.

Back in the snazzy drug-making science lab, SCIENTIST LADY (our heroine) is having a normal day at work, until a coworker gets misplaced from CRIMINAL MINDS, puts on the dead killer eyes, and proceeds to shoot everyone in the lab. SCIENTIST LADY quickly evades him by hiding in a closet! Coworker shoots himself, there is panic, etc.

MERC: ….seriously, WTF.

COMMITTEE: We shall now do more standing around and talking scenes in which we worry and shout a lot, and never say anything coherent or sensible. Also, we are taking up screen time because this movie is clearly not long enough.

JEREMY RENNER: *steals a plane and flies back to the continental states*

SCIENTIST LADY: I have flown out to a huge mansion in the middle of the woods that was possibly used as a set-piece in recent horror movies.

EVIL PSYCHOLOGIST: Hi! I’ve tracked you down with my hitmen! Now TALK.

SCIENTIST LADY: I don’t know anything!

The Evil Psychologist and her hitmen proceed to try kill SCIENTIST LADY by making it look like a suicide.

JEREMY RENNER: *SMASHES DOWN DOORS AND SHOOTS EVERYONE*

Followed by much running around and shooting and incomprehensible action scenes in which people get elbowed in the face a lot. Also things explode.

SCIENTIST LADY: zomgwtfbbq.

JEREMY RENNER: Quick, burn down the house and let us escape before reinforcements arrive! THEY WILL NOT LET US LIVE.

REINFORCEMENTS are composed of one dude in a SUV miles away, armed with a walkie-talkie. He is not sure what he is doing there, except to rush over once the house explodes and then radio for help.

Meanwhile, more COMMITTEE people continue to committee and talk a lot and wonder what happened to their agents sent to kill SCIENTIST LADY, and how all their plans are somehow falling apart. Because something something whatever.

Back on the road, JEREMY RENNER and SCIENTIST LADY have a long, shout-y conversation.

JEREMY RENNER: TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW.

SCIENTIST LADY: I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING!

JEREMY RENNER: WHERE ARE THE DRUGS.

SCIENTIST LADY: I DON’T KNOW!

JEREMY RENNER: I NEED A FIX. TELL ME!

SCIENTIST LADY: I DON’T KNOW I SWEAR!

JEREMY RENNER: *gives her his best Truth Detecting Stare* Okay. I believe you. ARE YOU SURE YOU DON’T KNOW.

SCIENTIST LADY: DAMMIT I HAVE NO EFFING CLUE WHAT IS GOING ON HERE.

(Neither does anyone else.)

JEREMY RENNER: Okay, I tell you what. I need drugs or I go zombie and probably die. So we’ll fly to the Philippines where your company’s factory is, and you can science up a way to make me permanently a super powered agent dude. Deal?

SCIENTIST LADY: Fine. Forge me a passport and let’s go.

They do. They are CHASED by more COMMITTEE people, who use the internet and satellite photos to find them!

However they arrive at their destination with minor inconvenience.

COMMITTEE: We shall take up more screen time repeating things everyone already knows and see how busy we stay on the phones!

MERC: Can we get back to seeing Jeremy Renner shirtless?

JEREMY RENNER: *sadly still clothed* And now we sneak into the factory and you can science up a cure!

They do so. Unfortunately, they are discovered! JEREMY RENNER smashes poor security dudes who are just doing their job. Then there is chaos and they escape!

At this point, the movie realized that no one and nothing can really stop JEREMY RENNER. It decides that what it needs is a new form of drug-powered supersoldier, only one who doesn’t get any lines! And also he can be badass and wear sunglasses and we will say how we stripped him of empathy so he’s a perfect killing machine! (The fact there is no foreshadowing or lead-up to this is handwaved aside. Probably they have many contingency plan badass supersoldiers hidden away in closets all over the world.)

LARX 3: *arrives, looking badass and silent and ready to kill something*

Meanwhile, the sciencey fix for JEREMY RENNER’s addiction had made him sick. There are more random flashbacks from other people’s perspectives, in which we get more exposition.

SCIENTIST LADY: I will not leave you!

JEREMY RENNER: You must. I am sick and dying!

SCIENTIST LADY: NEVER. I shall hold you while you are sick and sweaty and shirtless…

JEREMY RENNER: Okay.

Meanwhile, LARX 3 (Louis Ozawa Changchien) continues silently stealing the stage with his awesome.

JEREMY RENNER: *recovers* Now, let us escape again!

There is much chasing and running across rooftops and fighting police officers and stealing motorcycles. Also hard to follow action sequences that go on and on, intercut with more COMMITTEE being committeeful and shouting a lot.

LARX: *silently shows up and meets JEREMY RENNER’s gaze from a block away*

There is an intense stare-down, and then they proceed to have a 20 minute chase across rooftops, sometimes with motorcycles.

(This is 15 minutes too long.)

LARX: *begins catching up on his stolen motorcycle!*

JEREMY RENNER and SCIENTIST LADY are not going to make it!

SCIENTIST LADY: *kicks LARX in the face*[1]

LARX falls off the motorcycle, which crashes, and he dies[2]. JEREMY RENNER falls off his motorcycle and does not die. He lies there looking hurt and semi-conscious.

(The anticlimacticness of this scene is STAGGERING.)[3]

A nice local fisherman agrees to help JEREMY RENNER and SCIENTIST LADY. Meanwhile, back at COMMITTEE CENTRAL, more blah blah blah. A press conference or something follows.

On a BOAT in the middle of the ocean, JEREMY RENNER and SCIENTIST LADY give each other suggestive looks and float off into the sunset (and possibly a sequel).

THE END.

[1] I liked the fact the lady did something useful instead of being caught/cornered/threatened so Agent Aaron could rescue her yet again. The problem is in [3].

[2] Unless he is really NOT DEAD and returns in a sequel to have an hour long fistfight with JEREMY RENNER to make up for the lack of confrontation in this movie.

[3] My problem comes from the implied showdown between LARX 3 and AGENT AARON. There is much effort spent on telling us LARX 3 is superbad and really good at killing people like Aaron. (This is supposedly demonstrated while he kills off redshirts.) Aaron is already weakened and at a disadvantage. You have a classic set-up for an underdog victory. Thus, I am expecting an actual confrontation between LARX 3 and Aaron. (Plus, if you already have both of them shot and wounded, it would make it even more awesome to watch.)

[In TDKR, it didn’t bother me so much that Catwoman shows up and shoots Bane, because, while disappointing in many respects, you’ve already had the second showdown between Batman and Bane on the city hall steps—they’ve had their test/fight which was promised earlier in the movie.]

Unless they were trying for realism with a motorcycle crash, to avoid the fact that LARX 3 can still probably smash Aaron. But given 1.) the wolf pack and 2.) everything else, my belief in the realism of this movie was long gone. In which case I totally want unrealistic fight scenes or something to fulfill the narrative suggestion that these two superagents are match for each other.

[Or maybe they were trying for an INDIANA JONES style ending, where instead of a big showdown, he just shoots the guy. Hint: this movie is not INDIANA JONES.]

(On the bright side, THE EXPENDABLES 2 is out on Friday. That is the bright side of everything that disappoints me this week.)